To truly be an effective and pretty much standard christian apologist in winning over atheists and christian onlookers, I’ve listed a few techniques and guidelines.
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1) Lying.
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2) Being as vague as possible.
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3) Make them second guess themselves.
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4) Never admit that you have no evidence for Jesus, or the bible and for any truth of christianity being true.
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5) Keep saying that the evidence for christianity is overwhelming.
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6) Make it sound like you showed something, when you actually showed them nothing.
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7) If the topic of brainwashing ever comes up, make sure to turn it around on the atheist.
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8) Never ever actually answer anything that consists of really ‘giving evidence’ no matter how many times an atheist asks you a question.
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9) Stay off history and credibility of the bible.
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10) Keep focusing on unprovable things that make people feel insignificant and worthless otherwise.
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11) Make sure to take everything Atheists say out of context and make them sound like immoral psychopaths.
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12) Scare people into following christianity by making them not want to take chances.
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13) Use the “personal experience” as a last resort.
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14) Be sure to try to remember to use philosophy words when the topic of brainwashing comes up and play the part of the defenseless victim.
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15) Vocabulary.
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16) Making people take your opinion as fact.
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17) Keep using the bible as evidence for the bible.
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18) Manipulate philosopher atheists into defending you and attacking other atheists.
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So let’s begin….
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1) Lying.
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a) This is always the best one to use and most convenient.
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b) Before the atheist can even think about what you said not being true, you can already move on to another topic, or even better ANOTHER LIE.
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c) You don’t even have to verify anything and can just say keep lying and lying.
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2) Being as vague as possible.
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a) Over generalize as much as you can.
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b) It not only sounds awesome, but is totally condescending.
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c) Things like “an overwhelming and undeniable majority of biblical scholars agree….”
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– “Would be absolutely and unmistakably illogical….”
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Stuff like that.
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d) Some great examples of being vague can of course come from the ultimate master of being vague himself William Lane Craig.
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As shown here in this demonstration video:
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http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=V-fUNF7fGNU
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Our Sith master of apologetics knows how to truly make saying absolutely nothing, sound amazingly good.
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3) Make them second guess themselves.
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a) Whenever atheists continually ask you for evidence and continually call you out on your deflecting, simply call them “unreasonable” to deflect again.
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b) Keep saying that they are unreasonable over and over and while they’re busy second guessing what they themselves are saying, then simply change the subject to something else.
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c) Remember that the last thing you want to do is admit that there really is no evidence of Jesus being God, or even a real historical person.
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d) The greatest way I’ve found from personal experience is whenever the atheist asks for “evidence” tell them that “they don’t understand the meaning of the word ‘evidence'”.
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– Also tell them that “arguments technically qualifiy and fit the specification of evidence”.
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– Send them a bunch of definitions of evidence & arguments from dictionaries and philosophy books.
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– They won’t actually take the time to actually look at what you’ve sent them to be not only wrong, but a complete waste of time.
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– If for some unforseen and highly improbable chance that the atheist actually examines the links and sees that they say nothing, then again just call them “unreasonable” and waste their time even further.
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4) Never admit that you have no evidence for Jesus, the bible, or of anything in christianity being true.
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a) This is your absolute number one thing that you can NEVER admit, because if you do then that is basically admitting that you are nothing but a liar.
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b) We apologists know that we’re liars and that if we didn’t lie then we couldn’t be apologists at all, but as long as we don’t admit it then it’s okay.
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c) Remember to go to pleaseconvinceme .com and get articles from Jim Wallace and his gang of liars who put together amazingly misleading articles that you can send to people.
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d) Pleaseconvinceme has such great articles that even after Atheists explain to you how meaningless the articles all are, just keep sending the same articles even though you know the articles are worthless.
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5) Keep saying that “the evidence for christianity is overwhelming”.
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a) We apologists know that that is an absolute lie, but keep saying it because it sounds good.
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b) There is of course nothing whatsoever that proves Jesus was even a real person, or even divine in any way, so if called out on this don’t forgot to call the atheist “unreasonable” again.
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c) Just follow the lead of apologist Gary Habermas in this video:
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http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ay_Db4RwZ_M&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Day_Db4RwZ_M
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In an hour and 20 minutes he keeps saying over and over about how much evidence there is, but never once shows any in the entire video, though he keeps suggesting that he did.
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– When you can lie as good as Habermas does then you really have earned the title of “apologist”.
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6) Keep saying that you showed something when you didn’t.
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a) Like Gary Habermas mentioned above, if you keep saying that you said something about evidence when you didn’t, religious people will only hear what they want to hear.
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b) Don’t forget to use the bible as evidence to prove the bible whenever you can.
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c) As long as other christians only hear what they want, you don’t really have to prove anything at all, because their many words of praise about what a truly AWESOME apologist you are will drown anything the atheists have to say about you really showing nothing at all.

d) Here is an apologist who in this short little article says 13 times that there is evidence of christianity, give, or take, but doesn’t give one example:

http://pastebin.com/6Repxjxz
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7) If the topic of brainwashing ever comes up, make sure to turn it around on the atheist.
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a) If the atheists ask you to prove that you aren’t brainwashed to christianity, then simply say “prove that THEY the atheist aren’t brainwashed”.
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b) If they actually do put in the effort in to show you, then just don’t respond and hope they stop bringing it up.
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c) If they continue on about the brainwashing then simply just play the victim card.
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– Get really defensive.
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– Tell the atheist that it’s nothing but an insult attack when the atheist says “religion is nothing but being brainwashed”.
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– Again, say that “the Atheist is being unreasonable”.
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d) We know how if we can’t prove that we aren’t brainwashed because without evidence, or any actual reason to believe in christianity to be true, that the atheists might actually have a good argument.
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e) The brainwashing argument is actually the best reason the atheists have because they can explain in detail how people can be mentally conditioned to ignore evidence and believe things without evidence.
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f) This topic must be deflected and ignored by all means necessary.
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8) Never ever actually answer anything really that consists of ‘giving evidence’ no matter how many times an atheist asks you a question.
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a) Keep deflecting to other topics that have nothing to do with anything that the atheist is asking.
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– “It takes faith to believe what an atheist believes”.
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– “Why do you hate God?”.
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– “Why do you deny christ into your heart?”
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These annoying lines mentioned above should irritate the atheists enough that they start name calling you.
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b) When the atheists get irritated and lose patience with you, don’t forget to act oblivious to what you’re doing and then accuse them of fallacies.
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c) When the atheists lose all patience with you and get angry that we’ve done nothing but waste their time, then tell them that you’ve won the argument.
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– We know that that isn’t true, but pretend that it is anyway.
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– As long as you keep telling them that you’ve won the argument and act like you did, then that’s all that matters.
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9) Stay off the topic of history and the credibility of the bible.
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a) Since we know that there is no evidence of Jesus, the bible being true, or anything proving christianity, make sure to talk about anything else.
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b) Make sure to talk about unprovable and irrelevant things like where morals come from has to prove christianity to be true.
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– How the universe had to have a creator proves that Jesus really came back from the dead and was God.
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– How the universe had to have an intelligent designer and that proves that everything in the bible is true and that we weren’t child indoctrinated whatsoever.
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– How because we know in our hearts that christianity is true that all the contradictions and proven forgeries the New Testament has are meaningless.
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– How whether, or not we have “freewill” proves that there is a real guy named “Satan” who lives in a place called “Hell” and even though he has lot’s of magic powers, he wastes his time telepathically implanting evil thoughts into billions of peoples minds simultaneously.
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c) Whatever you do, stay off the topic of biblical history.
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– If the atheist has knowledge of history and done their research and know we are lying when we tell them things, then it can be awkward and uncomfortable for us.
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– Should this happen that the atheist catches you lying, then simply continue to do what we do best, which is to deflect and pretend nothing happened and eventually the atheist will get so irritated and annoyed about other stuff we are lying about that they forget all about that particular lie.
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10) Keep focusing on unprovable things that make people feel insignificant and worthless otherwise.
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a) You repeatedly fuel peoples egos and keep telling them that life has no meaning unless you spend all eternity in a utopian transdimensional theme park kissing God’s rear end.
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b) Keep convincing people that even though the universe is 93 billion light years across, with trillions of galaxies, stars and planets that astronomers have detected, that we are all the life there is in the universe and that God only cares about Earth and the sports that people play like UFC, boxing and football.
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c) Make people think that they have to believe christianity because these few decades we have on Earth are insignificant to anything, or anybody after we are gone, or anything we’ve accomplished.
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11) Make sure to take everything atheists say out of context and make them sound like psychopaths and morons.
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a) Quote new atheists and historians out of their books they wrote in a way that the author never even remotely meant.
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b) It might be as dishonest as actually lying, but if you act oblivious to what you’re really doing then that makes it all okay.
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12) Scare people into christianity by making them not want to take chances.
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a) Scare people into fearing hell, even though the entire concept makes no sense whatsoever, if you scare them enough they won’t think about it making no sense.
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– Especially young kids because you gotta scare innocent children into believing things because they look up to you and trust you.
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– Remember to ignore atheists when they call doing this to kids “child abuse”.
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b) Make sure to capitalize and take advantage of any emotional, or mental state of vulnerability older people might have, especially mixed up teenagers.
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– Wishing they could see loved ones they’ve lost in the afterlife and are overcome with grief.
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– Causing people to fear their own mortality and not mentally be able to deal with a finite existence.
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c) Remember to ignore atheists who call you “a predator”.
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– They’re just jealous that atheism only offers reality, not cool magical stuff that God does with his magical God powers that we have no proof of.
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13) Use the “personal experience” as a last resort.
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a) If atheists really press us and expose a lie, or two and overwhelm us with historical facts and maybe even a little bit of science, then don’t forget to use the apologists secret weapon “the personal experience”.
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b) Tell them about that “feeling of Jesus inside us” we get that they can’t prove we don’t have.
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c) This way you can deflect when they say “you’re lying” and accuse them of being unreasonable and insulting.
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– Also the same if the atheists attack us and say we’re suffering from a delusion.
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d) If they bring up former evangelical christians turned Atheists, like Bart Ehrman and Matt Dilahunty who said they had the same “experience” but still became atheists because they realize it was just fooling themselves…
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– Remember to tell them that they weren’t really christians in the first place.
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– Or remind them of the power of Satan and how even these two strongly evangelical men could be blinded and seduced.
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e) Everything here in 13 is nothing but time wasting and deflection, but at least we won’t have to admit we were wrong and we can deflect and act like we actually made a point.
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14) Try to remember to use philosophy fallacy words when the topic of brainwashing comes up and play the part of the innocent victim.
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a) Since the subject of brainwashing is the most dreaded and frustrating subject for us that atheists bring up, fallacy terms are the easiest way to simply dismiss them and not have to deal with the issue at all.
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b) Terms like:
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– “This is an ad hominem attack”
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or:
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– “That’s a genetic fallacy”
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b) If someone is in a courtroom getting tried for murder and the defendent simply said “this is ad hom and genetic fallacy” and I’m not dealing with this” and walked out of the court room without caring and went home, well that would be impossible.
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– When used arguing with atheists though is just like that, so yeah, it’s quite awesome!
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– Using philosophical terms to avoid addressing issues which we are unable to defend ourselves is truly a marvel and miracle of words.
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– It’s basically just a way of sticking your fingers in your ears and closing your eyes and going “la-la-la-la-la I can’t hear you”, but getting away with it.
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c) There’s really nothing that the atheist can do but keep bringing it up and asking you to prove you aren’t brainwashed.
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– You can simply just say “I told you already it’s an ad hom attack and genetic fallacy” and just keep ignoring them.
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d) If the atheist actually tricks us into admitting that we might be brainwashed, then that is just like admitting we might be wrong and we don’t wanna go down that rollercoaster.
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– Doing so would be the eqivalent of being honest and in our field of apologetics that is something you can never be.
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– As soon as you start being honest and telling the truth and not putting words into people’s mouths, then you’ve given up the ability to defend christianity.
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15) Vocabulary.
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a) Make sure to use words that nobody uses in an every day basis.
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b) If the atheist tells you that they have no idea what you’re saying and that they have to stop and look up words, then pretend that you’re winning.
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c) Keep using big philosophical words for deflecting and changing the subject to other things other than giving evidence of christianity being true, or not being brainwashed
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– If the Atheist doesn’t want to admit they have no idea what you’re talking about, then you can nail them for it later.
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d) Remember that the last thing you want to do is have a normal conversation like a normal human being, because that is approaching too close to “just being straight forward” and that is approaching too close to what we call “losing”.
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e) If the atheist has done their homework and matches you on their vocabulary then you have no choice but to do the following:
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– Deflect to other subjects away from christianity being true.
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– Befriend them and manipulate them into giving you a platform where they imply to people that you have credibility, even though all we’re doing is deflecting and wasting peoples time.
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16) Make people take your OPINION as FACT.
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This can be done easily with the following:
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a) Lying (of course, duh).
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b) Talking super fast about things that nobody has any idea what you’re talking about and before anyone can even form a thought, then you’re moving forward to something else that they don’t know what you mean.
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c) Giving multiple OPINIONS of people who share the exact same belief we do.
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d) Be sure to chuckle and smile and be as condescending as possible and imply that the person you’re debating is a moron.
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e) Remember that people who are already believers will only hear what they want to and will take your opinion as fact.
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– Doesn’t usually work with atheists, or the people you’re debating but it works for effect.
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17) Keep using the bible as evidence.
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a) We know that the bible has no historical proof and that using the bible to prove the bible as evidence for anything is pointless, but do it anyway.
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b) Repeatedly say what William Lane Craig our hero and second messiah says “the majority of biblical scholars agree that…”

– This is meaningless because there still is no evidence Jesus was real and not fabricated, but keep saying “there’s lots of overwhelming evidence”.

– There is no evidence Jesus was God because everything in the New Testament is based on nothing but hearsay, but pretend that that isn’t the case.
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c) Be sure to call out atheists though on only giving their opinion when they present you with history, science and facts.
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18) Manipulate philosopher atheists on Twitter into defending you and attacking other atheists.
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a) Remember that “the enemy of my enemy is my friend”.
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b) If an atheist can be seduced into thinking that you look up to them on an intellectual level and they aren’t really pressing you into answering anything you don’t want to, then why not get them to do your job for you?
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c) Convince atheists who are into philosophy that you are on ‘their side’ and pretend to care about other christians being unreasonable.
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– The good cop, bad cop idea works very well here.
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d) Make sure to become really tight with atheists who promote not mocking religion. That might be your strongest weapon against atheism.
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– You can keep encouraging these atheists to speakout against other atheists who try to tell people that christianity isn’t rational.
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– Keep reminding yourself how christianity is the only rational and reasonable religion which has absolutely no evidence whatsoever out there.
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e) Keep telling your new ‘pet attack atheists’ that “there are good atheists and bad atheists and reasonable atheists and unreasonable atheists”
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– They love that.
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f) Especially encourage your new bff atheist buddies to speakout against atheists who try to say things like “religion is a destructive disease, or mental illness”.
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– Why get your own hands dirty right?
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– What better way to stop an atheist whose mission is to speakout against religion and fight it, then to get another atheist to convince them they’re wrong?
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g) I strongly advise this manipulating atheists method as it frees you up to focus more of the following:
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– Raising children to not know anything else other than christianity.
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– Training those children to not accept any other reality and to not listen to any evidence that says otherwise.
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– Justifying bigotry, slavery, homophobia, murder and oppression of women, even if we don’t always agree with it, but finding some way to justify it in the bible.
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– Putting more effort into lying about evidence, deflecting and telling people that science proves christianity, heaven and hell and Jesus being God and the omnipotent master of the universe and that Jesus killed himself to save us from himself because of what he was going to do to us himself.
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So I hope that helps. Simply follow these steps and you will no doubt be a truly amazing christian apologists using the standard methods that apologists use.

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